a beautiful natural birth

I feel like the labor part of my daughter's birth started the day I went in for my 36 week check up. Up until that point, the midwives had declined checking my cervix and I had agreed, but at 36 weeks, with the amount of contractions, pressure, and changes I'd been feeling I was dying to know if I was progressing at all. I'd lost my mucus plug at a very early 29 weeks, so I thought surely something was happening; I just wanted to know how much.
The midwife checked me. I was at 5 1/2 cm. My midwife told me that surely I'd be back either later that day or maybe that weekend.

I went home, shocked and excited, and prepped everything for a rush to the hospital sometime in the next day or so.

And then I waited.
Three whole weeks.

Those three weeks felt like three years. I will never again ask an overdue woman any question relating to "no baby yet?" "still here?" "what does the doctor say?" or even the seemingly innocent "how are you feeling?" Those questions drove me bonkers and I just wanted everyone to leave me alone. If I wanted them to know how I was feeling, I would tell them, otherwise, don't ask me!

I started to get pretty stressed about it, actually, because back at 36 weeks when we felt delivery was imminent, Kent scheduled a trip to San Francisco with his new job. He would be leaving on November 6, the day after my due date. We figured Ellie would be 2 or 3 weeks old by then.
But she didn't come. And each day that passed, I got more and more discouraged. Some days I felt lots of contractions, but some days I actually felt better. Those were the worst days because I started to feel like maybe Ellie was never going to be born.

My midwives took pity on me, and the Saturday I turned 39 weeks (they weren't legally allowed to do it any earlier than that) they agreed to let me come in and have this baby.
That morning we woke Nicholas up early and took him to our friends the Jensens' house. He was super excited to go to their house, and he didn't seem phased at all that we were leaving him, which really helped ease my mother-guilt.

We were a bit early still for our 8:00 am induction appointment, so we stopped at a donut place on the way. I only nibbled on my donuts; I was too excited and nervous to eat much.

When we got to the hospital, it seemed pretty quiet. The nurses at the desk in L&D were just sitting there chatting, and I was assigned to the biggest suite. It was a beautiful room, with hardwood floors, lots of space, and an entire wall of windows. The nurses were slow to get things started. It was an entire hour before I was even handed a gown to change into, but looking back on it, I think the slow pace helped calm me down even more and it helped me get into the mindset I would need to get me through what was to come.

I had two nurses; one was in training, and they pretty much let me do my own thing. Once they saw that I was with the midwives, they automatically assumed that I was planning on doing this without pain meds, and although that was merely my hope going in (I had a "we'll see what happens" attitude about it), having everyone in the mindset that I was going to do it naturally really gave me the support that allowed me to do it in the end.

My midwife Pam started me on Pitocin at 10 am. Over the next 5 hours they continued to increase the pitocin, I rotated between the birthing ball and the rocking chair, and Kent and I watched extreme home makeover on TV. I was contracting every two minutes or so. I was uncomfortable, but not in much pain. And the pitocin wasn't really progressing me. I was still at a stubborn 5 1/2 cm.

So at 3 pm, my midwife and I decided that she should break my water. The very next contraction was a bit stronger, and the one after that left me breathless.
Yep, things were definitely moving along now. Pam and the nurses left me and Kent and said they'd be back in 20 minutes to check on me again.

With each contraction I felt my resolve weakening. This was pain. This was tough. And I didn't think I had it in me. I started to tell Kent that I couldn't do it, that I wanted the epidural.

He was SO good, helping me in the way I needed it most--just being by me and telling me to calm down and slow down my breathing. I really struggled with that; I kept nearly hyperventilating. But everytime Kent told me to breathe slower, I was able to refocus and make it just a little bit longer. I really needed him there by my side--I remember feeling like there had to be some way he could just make it all go away, and even though he couldn't do that, somehow just having him next to me was very comforting.

Before we'd gone in that morning, I had explained to Kent that I really really wanted to try and have this baby without the epidural. I told him that I needed him to encourage me, to push me to keep going.

It wasn't until afterwards that I realized what it was that I'd asked him to do.

There I was, in a very lonely, helpless, powerless place, pleading for relief, and he had to stand there and tell me to keep going.

I am so so grateful that he did.

He told me to just wait and see what they said when they checked me again. When the nurses came back I told them I probably wanted the epidural, but they also encouraged me to wait until Pam came back and checked me.

But Pam never got another chance to check me. Before she arrived I decided that I wanted to try and go to the bathroom, because I knew that an empty bladder would help things along. Getting to the bathroom took probably a full 10 minutes, because I had to stop and breathe through every contraction. The nurses showed Kent how to put counterpressure on my lower back, and that felt SO good. He continued to massage my back as I sat on the toilet and because we were already in there, I asked the nurses if I could get in the shower. With each contraction part of me would go numb, either my arms or my legs, and I was shaking.

But as they prepped the shower, I suddenly felt that urge to push. It was small at first, and I kind of doubted it, I mean, it had only been about 40 minutes since Pam broke my water and I had been at 5 or 6 cm. But then it came again, and the nurses turned off the water and sent me back over to the bed.

Once I got to the bed, I felt restless. I wanted to be on my side. I wanted to kneel. I wanted to do anything and everything except lay on my back. I wanted this to be over with already.
But then the urge to push came again, and much stronger, and I found myself on my back and the nurses were breaking down the bed.

Within moments, I was pushing. I don't remember anyone really telling me much--the nurses weren't counting or telling me when to push. It was all very instinctual. In fact, it would have been hard for me to follow directions anyway. I couldn't do anything but exactly what my body was telling me to do.

And it was hard. I screamed. A lot. But I couldn't stop myself--it was almost a surreal experience; I kind of felt like I was just sitting back and letting my body take over. I pushed three or four times, and then Kent told me he could see the baby's head, that she was right there. I remember telling him that I couldn't do it, that I was done, and he just told me that I was doing it, that it was almost over, that I was doing great.

I pushed again, and in my head I decided that I was done. She wasn't coming. I wasn't going to give birth after all. I didn't want to do it anymore.

But when the next contraction hit, I pushed with all my soul. I was getting that baby out right then and there. And she was here. The relief was instantaneous. It was done!

I laughed, I caught my breath, and my daughter's warm little body was placed on my bare stomach. She was beautiful, she was quiet, and she was BIG. 8 1/2 lbs. She wasn't turning pink as fast as they wanted, so the nurses took her over to the warming bed to rub her down with towels. She didn't like that, so she started to really cry, which "pinked" her up very quick, so they brought her back to me once Pam was done repairing my tearing. Besides being a big baby, as Ellie was born she punched her fist up next to her head, so the tearing was pretty bad.

As soon as Ellie was in my arms again I brought her up to nurse. She latched immediately, and she nursed for an entire 45 minutes! After the struggle we had starting breastfeeding with my son, this was amazing!

One of the nurses came in and told me that she had some bad news. I was worried she meant something was wrong with me or the baby, but she just said, "I have to prick your finger to draw some blood." I laughed. After what I'd just done, a finger prick was nothing. So I told her, "go ahead, prick all my fingers if you need to."

As the room quieted down and the nurses cleaned up, I felt this overwhelming sense of "did I really just do that?" I kept telling Kent "I did it. I just had this baby. I did it!"

That hour from my water breaking to Ellie being born was the most intense, difficult, painful hour of my life. But I am planning on doing it again when I have my next baby, because the recovery was incredible. I was walking within an hour after Ellie was born. I was able to sit up, eat my dinner, walk myself to the bathroom, hold Ellie--it was great! I remember after my son was born it took a few days before I was able to get out of bed on my own; the epidural was so hard to recover from. But with this birth, by the next morning I was up and out of bed, ready to leave the hospital and go home. I felt like myself again, even better because I wasn't pregnant anymore. And the recovery once we got home, instead of taking a week or so, seemed to only take a day or two. I needed less pain relief and less rest.

We moved across the country only four weeks after Ellie was born. It was hard, but I knew I could do it. In fact, the most lasting emotion I gained from this birth has been power. I feel like a more powerful version of myself. I did something I didn't think I could ever do, and I did it well. Now I am braver, more confident, and happier with who I am.

Plus I have the most darling little girl in the whole world to show for it.

how did you do it natural?

I wish everyone could be a doula before they have their own babies.

Or at least have more experience with birth ... I guess in the olden days family and friends helped out in each others' births, but now that's pretty hard to come by.  If you ever get the opportunity, go to a birth!

The birth of my little girl was wonderful.  I've had a few people ask how in the world did I do it without anything??  Well honestly, anyone can.  Your body knows how.  You just go with it.

After contemplating things a little more, I've come up with a few tips that worked great for me:

• First and foremost:  birth is 100% do-able.  Our bodies were made to do it, and we as women do know how.  We know better than doctors do.  Don't ignore their experienced advice, but do not doubt yourself.
• Hire a doula.
• Make sure your birth partner is positive and confident.  If he/she is not, definitely hire a doula.
• Ignore labor until you can't ignore it any more.
• Find some way to relax.  Either fork out some dough to do a hypnobirthing or bradley method class, or just figure it out on your own.  For me, it was moving and deep, slow breathing.  The stronger the contraction, the deeper the breath I took.  I decided if I could still breathe, then I was doing just fine.
• With each contraction, do some sort of downward motion with your body, and whisper outloud or in your head, "Open open open open!"  The thought translates physically ... give it a try.
• Don't pay attention to the clock.  Everyone else in the room will do it for you.  Just get through the contraction, and rest or joke around between them.
• Try to smile.  It will make you and everyone else in the room feel better.  Set the exapmle for how you want everyone else to behave ... I promise, you're not dying.
• Underestimate your progress.  It's always better to be pleasantly surprised.
• Worried your baby will just fall out?  You'll feel it before it comes.  That urge to push is something else!
• Worried about the ring of fire?  Yes, it's intense.  So try to back off on the pushing, give your skin a chance to stretch out a bit.  But if you're like me and the urge to push completely overrides that burning sensation, then don't worry about it ... a couple of stitches are fine.
• I'm sure you've heard this over and over again, but it's true ... once that little on is lying on top of your belly, all the pain will be completely forgotten.  And if you did it without drugs, you'll be amazed at how you feel like normal almost instantly.  Besides a slight case of the shakes.  :)

Above all, have a good idea of what you expect from the experience, do all you can to make it happen, and then just let everything go and enjoy the ride.  I promise it will be one you will never forget!

birth of my daughter

Oh, what a birth.
The arrival of this little one was so much easier than my son's ... I suppose that's pretty typical for a second birth.  My body had done this once before, we weren't as nervous as we were before, and we had a lot of prayers sent our way.  What a difference.

I wasn't scared at all for this birth. Being a doula and having been through a lot of births lately, I felt confident and knew what I wanted. My husband Mark did too; he had recently attended a seminar on adjusting pregnant women, which ended up being as much of a natural childbirth class as it was an adjusting class. He said I could have it in the car if I wanted.

Well, it all began on a lovely Tuesday morning. There went the plug. I immediately began doing laundry, Mark vacuumed the house, and we tidied things up in preparation for her arrival. I then hurried off to my doctor's appointment for some halting news. "You are dilated to a two, but her head has turned sideways. I think you will have a couple more days." Wah-waaah.

So back to the house I went, and we decided to take off to Knott's Berry Farm to get a good walk in for me and some fun for our two year old.

My "braxton hicks" contractions were starting to feel more like those lovely monthly cramps.  Nothing intense, but a change nonetheless.  Still ... I kept that to myself and decided that if labor was coming, it was coming.  I would just go about my business and ignore it until I just couldn't any more.

The rest of the day was spent with Mark consistently asking how I felt, with me consistently shrugging and saying about the same -- although a bit more blood did make an appearance -- and our boy goofing around, playing in the hot tub and enjoying his last few moments as the complete center of attention.

After he was asleep and I had some time to focus on myself, I realized these contractions were feeling different ... but nothing too crazy, so it couldn't be real labor, right? Just in case I phoned my divine friend to warn her to keep her phone on that night, as she might be getting our two year old before the sun came up.

As we layed around, we decided to time them, just out of curiosity. 6-10 minutes apart. But they weren't really intense, so it couldn't be labor ... at least that's what I kept telling myself.  I felt sure that if I went to bed they would slow down or go away, and so we decided to attempt some shut eye. But I needed a couple of things from my wonderful husband beforehand ... an adjustment, and a priesthood blessing. And so he lined me all up between contractions with those magic hands of his and massaged the bajeezes out of my back. And then he gave me the most wonderful blessing I can remember. I am so grateful to be married to such an incredible chiropractic priesthood holder ... I fought a few tears, and then we decided to try to get some rest.

But those contractions kept waking me up. Finally, around 3:30 am I told Mark I just couldn't lie there any more, so I jumped up and he did as well. We went downstairs and watched infomercials while I paced, rocked, and bounced on my birthing ball while Mark timed. They were about every 3-5 minutes apart, and Mark asked what I was waiting for. I explained that I did not want to wake up my friend or our little man, and decided that I could make it till he was up and fed and taken care of. Then we could go.

So almost exactly at six, we heard our son crack open his door and sneak down the stairs. For once, that was perfectly fine with me.

Mark fed him and dressed him while I took a shower to try to relax through a few more contractions. We finished up at about the same time, and all piled into the car. Once at our friends', Mark simply hoisted the entire car seat out with the little man still in it and carried him up to their front door.

I started crying.

Just a little. I guess it really hit me that our last moments of just my boy and me had truly ended. Next time I saw that big-headed sweetheart of mine, I would be forever trying to split my time. He was no longer the sole focus of my attention.

When Mark returned, he seemed a little worried that labor was starting to kill me ... but once I explained the tears he calmly and a logically reminded me how good the whole situation would be for everyone. Of course he was right, but still ... it felt good to cry a little.

And so on we went for our twenty minute drive to the hospital. It wasn't so bad, no screaming or squeezing the crap out of Mark; mostly a lot of deep breathing and grimacing whenever we hit a bump. Before long we were there, and made our trek up to the third floor. I was still able to walk through the contractions, but I was starting to feel a little bit like jello.

The check-in process took some time. I don't think the gal in the office believed I was actually in labor. We filled out the necessary paperwork between contractions. At one point she asked me why I believed I was in labor. "Contractions," I told her, and she just nodded. I secretly wondered if she was right and I was just over-playing it, but that sounded like the worst thing in the world, and I didn't entertain the thought for long.

Our doula Elizabeth met us in the hallway on our way to the room. Having her there, I felt a second wind. I was excited to have her knowledge added to my own, and felt ready to get to work.

Apparently the hospital was quite busy that morning; a dangerously pre-term baby was born, and the fire inspector was on the way. It took about 45 minutes for a nurse to come in and get us all settled. But that was fine with me; my one fear with this labor was that the nurses might make me stay in bed the whole time ... I definitely did not want to be trapped. And so while we waited I paced, squatted, lunged, and did everything I could think of to create space and help that little gal get in the best position to make her entrance smoothly. Mark and Elizabeth were wonderful; always watching me, providing a little conversation and some laughs between contractions, and all sorts of physical support.

Finally two nurses came in, and they were incredible. Right off the bat, I knew I would like them. They were fine with everything I wanted to do. I showed them my birth preferences I had all typed out, and they asked how my doctor felt about them. I told them he said it should be fine, and to show it to them as they would be the ones with me through the labor. They laughed at that, but agreed.

So the nurses said they'd like to keep me on the monitor for a little while to make sure my little one handled the contractions alright, and then checked me.

I was at a seven.

YES. I felt relieved and a little surprised, but didn't have much time to dwell on it as another contraction came on. I decided not to get too excited or to look at the clock much ... just breath through the contractions as they came along. Elizabeth told me she had never seen anyone that far along and so ... with it. It's sure nice to have a doula around to give you a little confidence. 

I braced myself to start losing it as I thought back on my training. But until then, I would just keep breathing. Mark eventually asked me if I wanted to stay lying down or get up. I asked him to get the birthing ball (which is just a big exercise ball to sit on ... creates all sorts of movement in your hips without having to put forth much effort). So off to the car he went, while Elizabeth and I worked through a few more contractions.

Eventually our nurse came back again and hooked me back up to the monitors and checked me. I was at a nine. She had the other nurse notify the doctor, and told us to call her if anything changed; like my water breaking (which it still hadn't) or any crazy pressure.

So I decided to try the bathroom one last time, (empty bladders leave all sorts of space) and that walk to the bathroom about did me in. I didn't stay long before I was up and Mark was holding onto me through some intense contractions. I started shaking and sweating and feeling incredibly flushed ... and decided I needed to make my way back to the bed. That little walk brought on a monster contraction that ended with a hint of that undeniable, all-consuming urge to push. Mark and Elizabeth noticed and weren't surprised one bit when I whispered what I felt, and Mark headed out to the hall to tell our nurses. They all came in just as another contraction came on. Wow. I couldn't believe how hard I wanted to push ... and then suddenly a lot started to happen at once. The nurse began demanding I get on the bed or that baby was going to be born on the floor. My water broke all over myself and Mark as he tried to help me get up into bed. All sorts of nurses came in the room, and lights were turned up. And everyone seemed to be saying one thing: "Don't push!!"

They all had little tips too; "High breaths", "Don't look down," "Keep it short," and so on and so on. I wanted to yell, "You people are CRAZY if you expect me to do that!" But instead I just listened to Mark. He was right by my head whispering, "Just do what you're doing. Keep doing what you want to do, you're doing just right."

Mark later told me he thought it was funny that I just completely ignored the nurses ... but in all honesty I didn't. I did try to stifle the urge to push; but it is impossible! There was no way I could ignore it. I tried some of their breathing suggestions, but they always ended in a grunt. Oops. Suddenly a nurse told me to lie on my side. "It'll be easier on you; hopefully less tearing," and then Mark was saying, "Oh I see her, I see her, she's right there!" Then the nurse again: "Mama, give me your hand. Would you like to feel your baby's head?" And then another contractions, more hollering at me to not push, and more of my light-breath-grunt ridiculousness, and then it just didn't end ... the contraction didn't stop, it got stronger and lighter and stronger and lighter, and then burning ... but that was quickly pushed aside by that larger-than-life urge to push, and then people are exclaiming and then the urge gets stronger and then WHOOSH!

There she is, lying on my thigh. I'm shaking and almost laughing. Mark and the nurse placed her on my lower abdomen, but as they didn't want to cut the cord without the doctor there, and as the cord was wrapped around her little body and the placenta hadn't been delivered yet, that was about as far as she reached. I asked if she was still a girl, and Mark confirmed. I then said, "Oh sweetheart we did it!" And the placenta was delivered and they moved her up closer to me. Mark and I oogled her while the nurses all waited for the doctor to come in before deciding what to do.

Our doctor made his arrival about ten or fifteen minutes after she was born. He stitched me up (just a little tear), had Mark cut the cord, and left. And there we were. Three hours of labor in the hospital. Six minutes of pushing. And it was all over at 10:57 a.m.

She was here. Our newest little member, with all her dark hair and big eyes and olive skin. She wasn't even swollen. I don't think either one of us felt she could be any more perfect.

Welcome to the world, Miss Belen Christine Gunn. We are sure glad you have joined us.

a couple thoughts on vbacs

My opinion is that in nearly every case of a physically healthy and mentally prepared pregnant woman, a vaginal birth is completely achievable after a previous cesarean section.  If you don't believe that, then you probably shouldn't try it.  It might be too stressful to be a good experience for anyone.

The one thing I hear people are worried about when attempting a VBAC is that their incision will burst.  There was a time when this did happen to multiple women; and it can be deadly for both the baby and the mother.  But according to my doula instructor (who is also a nurse ... among countless other things), this happened because doctors began trying out cytotec.

Cytotec is a drug that was made for a completely different purpose, but someone noticed that it caused horrifically strong contractions in pregnant women.  Stronger contraction will get the baby out quicker, right?  Well, whether or not that is true, your body can only handle so much.  A weight lifter can only lift so much before they will tear something.  A runner can only run so hard before they will collapse.  And your uterus was built to handle a certain amount of stress.  Drugs can do all sorts of crazy things to make your body change and/or simply ignore the limits that exist to protect it.  While this can be quite useful, it can also be deadly ... as in this case.  This drug caused contractions so strong that the incision burst in laboring women, and also wreaked some serious havoc on those without an incision.

Cytotec now has "Not for Pregnant Women" all over it's labeling, as was shown to me by a midwife recently.  She told me she keeps it on hand in case a woman is bleeding uncontrollably after the birth ... the contractions will close up the uterus and hopefully help stop the bleeding.  "It's something we would do as we were calling 911 at the same time ... I never use it otherwise."

Another newer trend that is contributing to the VBAC fear is that some doctors are favoring a single row of stitches in the uterus, instead of the previously required a double row.  The reasoning is that it is much faster; less time bleeding and having your insides on the outside.  Is it really better?  I don't know, but from what I've been told it's not widely accepted.

Whatever method your doctor may have used in the past, you can't do much about it now.  But there is a lot you can do.  Stay healthy.  Walk, walk, walk.  And learn everything you can.  Read "Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth: Making Informed Decisions".  Scour these websites:
www.dangersofcesareanbirth.com
www.vbac.com
www.childbirthconnection.com

Take control.  Nothing contributes to a successful VBAC more than a prepared, positive mother.

another wonderful VBAC

My sweet friend Chelsea called me a few times throughout her pregnancy to discuss a VBAC.  She was excited, terrified, and seriously wanting one.  Though she did wait till the end to make her final decision, once her doctor expressed some real support, she was gung-ho.  She had a beautiful experience and said I could share her family blog post about it here:

"I want to hurry and type my whole story out before I forget all of the little details. I like details. In fact, expect this to be way too long, full of things that no one really needs to know but that I can't help to include.

So a week ago, I was sitting in my doctor's office and told that it would probably be another week or so, but that I would most likely deliver Nolan before his August 13th due date. I was super excited until I did a little research and found that most women stay dilated 3 to 4 cm for weeks and that I shouldn't get my hopes up to be any different. 

36.3 weeks, the day I went into labor

I stubbornly stuck to my work-outs, hoping that it'd help further some cervical change. On Sunday, I *ahem* had some alone time with my hubby. Sometime later, I had the strangest sensation as my mucus plug worked it's way out. That did not happen with Boston and even though it was kind of exciting, it was mostly really gross. I noticed some strong pressure and what I thought could be contractions almost immediately afterward. Again, some scouting around on the internet and asking my trusted doula friend told me that it was common to lose your plug and it could mean labor within the next 24 hours or not for another month.

I debated whether I was just having false labor or if I should go get things checked out. My doc told me that once I started having contractions, I shouldn't sit around at home but go right in. He made it sound like things would happen pretty fast. We had dinner plans with my family that evening and I decided that if these pains continued for a couple of hours, we'd hit up L&D afterward for a quick check. 

So to dinner we went, where I told everyone what was going on and got lots of cheers that "a baby was coming tonight!" No pressure. Haha. I still wasn't convinced that it was true labor until the night wore on and when I couldn't stand without fidgeting in pain, it was time to go and pay a visit to labor and delivery.

We went home and got my bag packed, just in case. It was something I put off doing because I was only 36 weeks (and 3 days) along. I still had plenty of time, I thought! We live like a block away from the hospital and thought that since they were going to send us home anyway, we might as well just walk over. In fact, my mother in law joked that we should leave my bag...being unprepared meant they would keep me. Sage advice. :) So we kissed Boston good-night and told everyone we'd see them soon.

Walking up to the nurses, I felt so dumb. I explained that while I was probably just having false labor, I wanted to get checked and be assured so that I could try and get some sleep that night. They were totally obliging and led us back to none other than the room I labored in with Boston. Deja vu! Or bad luck, I can't decide.

One uncomfortable exam later and the nurse declares I'm at 5 cm. So wait, I'm really in labor?? Now what? Then she lays the bad news on me: Dr. W is unreachable until Monday afternoon. The on-call OB, Dr. P, doesn't do VBACS. Ever. Are you bleepin' kidding me?! Since I'm pretty far dilated, I'm not quite allowed to leave yet. She says Dr. P. wants me to hang out for two hours to see if I progress. If no change, I could go home but if I dilated further, then we would be completely at the mercy of Dr. P and what he wanted to do.

While my original plan was to walk and move for as long as I could, now I was determined to make labor stop! I sat in a bath for 40 minutes, willing my baby not to come until Dr. W was back. Then I laid on the bed in an almost comatose state for the rest of the time. Thinking I had succeeded, the nurse comes back and tells me (almost grimly) that I'm now a 7! Wow, doing nothing moved me that far along?! Pretty cool, but then dreadful as I realize this means I'm stuck with Dr P. I beg and plead for her to call Dr. W, pretend I'm a four and let me go, tell her I refuse to sign a c-section waver. She nods at me empathetically and says we just have to wait and see what Dr. P wants to do.

I can't remember how long we waited for the answer, but I divided the time between crying in despair to Shane (I'd worked so hard for this labor!) and contemplating an escape plan. Shane comforted me and gave me such a wonderful blessing. I could feel his faith in Heavenly Father and in me as he blessed things to go well.

Profound relief and even excitement came when the nurse said Dr. P would allow me a trial of labor (I later found out that it was the nurses who championed my cause and talked Dr. P into giving me a shot, bless their souls!!) I can so do this! was the mantra in my head. It was probably close to midnight when I was officially admitted, tethered to an i.v. and roaming up and down the halls. I was amazed at how little my pain was. Part of me was nervous that things were too easy and something bad was approaching, the everlasting cynic in me I guess.

At one a.m. I reached 8 cm and decided that it was probably a good time for the epidural. I was required to have one, but wanted to wait as long as I could before getting it. I wasn't in a whole lot of pain but wanted a restful sleep before all the action began.

The epidural was a little more painful than I remember. So many strange sensations. My back is still aching from it. But I did start to feel tired and heavy. The annoying thing was every time I'd drift into sleep, my evil angst-ridden side would nag me awake with worries that my contractions weren't strong enough and that I'd get stuck at a 9 again. That I'd end up back in the OR. This went on for hours.

At 4 a.m. I'd reached a 9 but still wasn't all the way effaced and baby was still at 0 station. My contractions were a little bit weak since he wasn't putting much pressure on my cervix. My bag of waters was still in tact and I kept wondering when they would break it since I was so far dilated.

Two, three, seven hours later...no change. I was in a bit of a state of weepiness and despair as I felt the all-too-familiar stall of labor. I cursed that stupid room where the same thing happened two years ago, I cursed the doctor for not being my doctor (he hadn't been in to see me once!), I felt my fantasy of pushing my baby out and holding him on my chest slipping rapidly away.

Well, my second most-amazing nurse of the day refused to let me get discouraged. Coincidentally, she had had a VBAC herself and reassured me that we weren't out of options yet. Finally, at 11 a.m., Dr. P came and ruptured my membranes. Contractions and pressure increased but not quite enough and an hour later I was given a low-dose of Pitocen. OH MAMA those contractions picked right up. When I was given the epidural, I requested it low enough that I could move my legs and feel the contractions while my nether region stayed nice and numb, but when those transition contractions started coming every minute or so, I began pushing my epi button like there was no tomorrow. Eventually the anisthesiologist came in after hearing my animalistic cries of labor down the hall and gave me not one, but two more doses! I remember my mind being divided between trying to focus on the baby moving down the birth canal and doubting myself that I could go through with this as each contraction peaked. I had Shane on one side trying to rub my arm, my leg, my head to calm me and my mom on the other trying to get me to "Ommm" the right way. Haha, bless her heart, she thought that if I got my vibrations just right there'd be no pain. I almost chucked the tennis ball I was clutching at her.

I'll never forget the utter joy and shock I felt when my nurse annouced I was 10 cm and fully effaced! Tears literally ran down my face. The anisthesiologist said my pain shouldn't be making me cry after two doses of medicine, but I just laughed and told him I was so happy! I'd gotten past the dreaded 9! It worked, even though a big part of me doubted I'd ever see this point! And it was time to push.

Can I just say to ladies who are pregnant: exercise, especially yoga, works!!! I know that's what gave me the strength to be able to push effectively after being through such a long labor and being extremely exhausted. Ok, and it doesn't hurt if your baby is tiny. Once I got over my self-consciousness (I was convinced I'd be one of those mothers who poops all over, scarring and eternally turning off my husband), I pushed like an Amazon woman. The doc did end up giving me an episiotomy (ouuuuch!) but little Nolan's head crowned after about 20 minutes of pushing. Dr. P told me to stop and pretty much just lie there, which was SO hard! I didn't know at the time, but the cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he was a scary shade of blue. Luckily, Dr. P was quick to get it cut (sad for Shane that he once again missed out on cutting the cord) and to pull Nolan the rest of the way out. He went straight to the NICU nurses while I strained to look at him through the afterbirth and stitching up of tender areas.

Thankfully, baby was given a clean bill of health and I got to meet my teeny tiny bundle. A priceless moment, to say the least.

It was such an incredible experience that I'll cherish forever. I'm so thankful to have been able to have the delivery I dreamed about and that everything came together to make that possible. Our bodies are truly amazing, especially if we do all we can to help them out. And modern medicine is such a blessing. There is a fine balance between too much intervention and just enough to enable a successful delivery. The first time I believe I was on the wrong side of that balance whereas this time I wouldn't have been able to do a VBAC without it."

a friend's VBAC birth

A friend of mine recently had her second baby.  The birth of her firstborn son ended up being quite traumatic, and set a fire under her to make sure the birth of their next would be an enjoyable experience.  She took control of everything she could, and welcomed her second son into the world calmly and smoothly.

Because of her mindset and her preparation, she was able to have just the birth she wanted.  Here is an email she sent me with a few details about her VBAC:

"My first baby was an emergency c-section that I had to be put completely out for. I literally wasn't there for the birth of my first child and that event alone had a tremendous effect on how I bonded with my first baby. When I got pregnant the second time, I made up my mind then and there that I was going to try for a VBAC. Many O.B. docs won't even perform VBACs so I approached my doctor cautiously since I wasn't sure what his stance was on the matter. I told him what I wanted to do and he was on board from moment one. I was tremendously lucky getting a doctor who was behind my choice to try for a VBAC.
           I grilled him over and over again about exactly what I could do to increase my chances of having a successful VBAC. He said keeping the weight down and exercising were the only things that I could control. During my first pregnancy, I gained an extreme amount of weight and was fairly unhealthy to start out with. So for this pregnancy, I kept my weight gain down, only gaining about 30 pounds during the whole process. I walked at least 2 miles a day on top of that. At every appointment, I reminded him that I had my mind made up to do this VBAC.
My resolve faltered minutely when the nurse handed me the paperwork I had to sign that listed all of the repercussions that could come from my choice to deliver how I wanted to. It was two whole pages outlining the various and sundry ways I could die. I actually didn't even finish reading the forms. Childbirth is risky. It has been since childbirth started. I trusted my doctor. He said I was a good candidate because of my physical shape and mindset and I believed him. So I didn't even finish reading the forms.
           I started having labor pains on Sunday and spent Monday and Tuesday walking, walking, walking. I knew that the more I walked, the more the baby could drop into the right position for a natural birth. Even at the hospital, I put off getting the epidural so I could walk around more. Getting an epidural too soon ups the risk of needing a c-section. I walked until the pain was almost overwhelming and then got the epidural.
           The VBAC went great and I am so glad I did it. It was the birth experience that I wanted. Even now when I mention to anyone who knows a lot about childbirth - doctors, nurses, doulas, etc. - they always call me brave for trying it. It is risky and I truly wouldn't have put myself and my baby in danger if I hadn't been the absolute best candidate for a VBAC. My advice to anyone thinking about trying for a VBAC is to MAKE SURE your doctor is fully behind letting you try, be in good health, keep weight gain to a minimum, exercise as much as you can and wait for a good long time between pregnancies (I waited three years).
Good luck!!!"

that first time breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is incredibly, significantly, enormously important.  The benefits of breast milk compared to formula are vast, ranging from the actual physical and mental health of your child and yourself to the amount of money you're spending every month.  Learn all about breastfeeding here at La Leche League.  There are consultants across the world who can help out if you are in need.  Try for at least two months; it takes about that long to get into a good routine.

The best time to start breastfeeding is immediately after birth.  After that doctor places your little one onto your stomach and you and your husband have had a bit of oohing and cuddling, start watching for your baby to open his mouth, stick our his tongue, or move his head from side to side. Most babies will do this almost immediately.

Those first few moments after birth are quite important in your baby's life.  They are incredibly alert and awake ... you will find after a couple of hours and then for the following few months your baby will practically want to sleep his young life away.  But for those first moments, your baby will typically be wide-eyed as he takes in your face and your husband's for the first time.  Use those precious minutes to look him in the eye, to touch him skin to skin, and to start working on breastfeeding.

Some babies catch on almost immediately.  For others, it takes a bit of practice.  Remember you aren't the only person who is new at this; your little one is a first-timer as well.  Most hospitals will have a breastfeeding specialist on hand to help with whatever you need.  Ask for them.  Get all the advice you can.  When you get home, call La Leche League if you have more questions.  Talk to friends.  Look things up.  And read this simple list of tips here.

Breast feeding, like birth, is something your body is built for.  Some women face unforeseen problems and are blessed to have the option of formula, but for the vast majority breast feeding is the best way to help your baby to grow into everything he could be.  Work at it.  Make it a serious goal.  One day nursing ends too, just like pregnancy and just like childhood.  You won't regret giving it your all.

ask for your bishop's score

Score	Dilatation	Effacement	Station	Position	Consistency
0	closed	– 30%	-3	Posterior	Firm
1	1 – 2 cm	40 – 50%	-2	Mid-position	Moderately Firm
2	3 – 4 cm	60 – 70%	-1	Anterior	Soft
3	5+ cm	80+%	+1

Have you ever heard of the Bishop's Score?  It's a tallying system most doctors use before inducing labor.  Your score will tell you how likely it is that the induction will work and that you will have a successful normal delivery.  

This table is analyzing the readiness of your cervix for labor.  It measures the dilation, effacement (how thick it is), the station of the baby (how low is he/she; are they sitting on your cervix?  This helps with dilation), the position of your cervix (your cervix rotates till it is in line with your vagina before you will give birth), and the consistency of it.  A score is given to each area, and then are added up.  If you get a 9 or higher, you are in good shape.  3 or lower could be trouble.

If your doctor decides the benefits for you and your baby are better by ending the pregnancy than letting it continue, first ask what your bishop's score is.  This will help you determine if you are okay with an induction or not.  If your score is low, you might be headed for a cesarean section.

All healthy births are good births, just make sure you are prepared so you will not be taken by surprise and can comfortably and happily take care of your little one when they finally come to the big outside world.

There's a good little article on the bishop's score here.

after having a little experience under my belt ...

I have now attended five births; three of which I served as the actual paid doula.

I absolutely love this.

It is such an honor to be asked to participate in such a moving, life-changing moment in a young family's life; and to be trusted that you will bring something positive and vital to the experience.  I am in awe of the strength and will of the mothers as they work with their bodies to bring these little ones into their open arms.  I adore the doting fathers; all of those I worked with were excited, nervous, and itching to find a way to work with his wife and lighten her load.  I remember one man after his wife decided to get an epidural.  She went straight to sleep, and he stood next to her, watching her breath.  Finally, after a few minutes, he turned to me and said, "Is there anything you would suggest I could do for her right now?"

The love and the raw emotion that surrounds this event are positively gripping; I won't lie, I shed a slight tear or two at every single birth.  It has been amazing to me how focused and consumed the parents will be with the hard work of labor; the atmosphere is generally quiet, inward, and intense.  But then, when that little one finally comes out, all intensity vanishes.  Laughter, tears, and gasps are all that remain.

Is there anything more holy than watching that little threesome gaze into each others' eyes, marveling in every little bit of each person?  I surely can't think of much.

I am so incredibly grateful to have this experience, to know that I have done some good in the world, and have gained so much more in return.

I pray that I will continue to have these opportunities to serve.

my current resume

Allison Gunn                                         Resume

Trained doula                                                                                             435 512 4861

            The family unit is the fundamental unit of human society.  I am a firm

            believer that if things are well in the home, it trickles out to create a

            world-wide effect of peace.  There are many elements to creating that

            loving home, but I have decided to aide in the beginning of that family.

            Through emotional support, physical comfort measures, and non-biased

            information,  I believe I can help couples achieve a positive experience

            in the birth of their little one, and therefore feel more empowered

            and confident in their own abilities to raise and love that child to the

            best of their abilities.

Completed Doula Training Oct. 3 2010 Trainer: Ellie Shea RN, CD, HBE, BSN (310) 326-2764 

A s   y o u r   d o u l a,   I   c a n   p r o v i d e :

Basic Massage                                             Infant Wrapping

Information                                                    Help with Hypnobirthing

Training for your partner                             Breathing Techniques

Birthing Ball                                                  Breastfeeding Tips

Photos                                                           One on One Meetings

Your child’s Birth Story                               Resources you might find helpful

B  a  c  k  g  r  o  u  n  d :

MOTHER OF ONE – To MacAlister Gunn, born September 13, 2009

CHIROPRACTIC  ASSISTANT – Holland Chiropractic

Dr. John Holland                   

562 694 8347                         

How does this apply to my doula work?

This job enabled me to do more hands-on work with the patient’s body than I had previously been able to.  I also thoroughly enjoyed the “natural” atmosphere and learned much about the body’s ability to heal itself.

DIRECT CARE SUPERVISOR – Avalon Hills

Doriann Pye-Petersen            

 435 753 3686                        

How does this apply to my doula work?

Here I learned much about the complexity of the female mind, and the power therein.  I watched these girls overcome incredible things, and was amazed by the abilities we posses when we are determined, informed, and loved.

PHYSICAL THERAPY AIDE – Mt. West Physical Therapy

Brad Thomas PT                    

435 755 0781                         

How does this apply to my doula work?

This job was my intro the workings of the human body.  I witnessed people come back from some incredibly difficult circumstances, and learned that a little movement can go a long way in helping the body perform the functions needed.

a beautiful normal birth

When I went to a hypnobirthing class several months ago, I met a beautiful gal named Laura.  I could immediately sense her kindness and calmness and liked her very much.  She would be using a midwife for the birth of her second child, and was very excited about the whole prospect.  She was quite the advocate of home birth to the other couples in the group.

She also talked a lot about getting to know your baby before he or she enters this world.  Talking to him or her, using their name, and getting your husband and siblings all involved was a big deal to her, and it seemed to work wonders with her first child.  I loved the idea of it.

She wrote an article about her birth and posted it.  It is a fantastic birth story; the kind people should most definitely read as it can greatly add to your confidence in your own birthing abilities!

Read Laura's birth story here:

http://www.dailybreeze.com/news/ci_18129253

olive's homebirth/waterbirth

Have you ever thought of waterbirth?

I'm learning all sorts of incredible things. Water has quite the calming effect; it adds the feeling of weightlessness and it generally allows your perineum to stretch a little better. Read more about waterbirth here:

http://www.waterbirth.org/mc/page.do;jsessionid=FFDA4740F8C79DE4D0288D0CD7B52E29.mc1?sitePageId=38425

aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is a great resource for labor!  Most doulas will have massage oils with essential oils in them, but you might want to look into what scents you prefer and what feels most relaxing to you.

A great basic recipe for massage oil during labor:

Ten drops of clary sage, five drops of rose, five drops of ylang-ylang mixed in 2 fl oz (10 tsp) of sweet almond oil.

Look a little more into aromatherapy here:
http://www.birthsource.com/scripts/article.asp?articleid=45

work with your baby

I am currently reading "The Gentle Greeting" by Ronald L. Cole.  It's an older book (published 1998), but it has a lot of great advice in it; especially if you are new to the idea of natural childbirth.

There is one tip in here that I have read in just about every childbirth book or class I have come across so far.  He says that during labor you should:

"Steer your mind away from fearful thoughts.  Work with your baby; assure your child that all will be well.  Picture yourself and your baby feeling ready and working together for a smooth delivery.  Picture your baby entering the world gently to a loving reception.  Picture yourself holding your healthy baby, rewarded by the effort it has taken you both."

Hypnobirthing classes and the "Birthing From Within" book also talked a lot about working with your unborn child.  They are a living human soul as well, and this is as much of an ordeal for them as it will be for you.  Everything I have read has mentioned at one point or another to talk with your baby; encourage him to move down and get ready to greet the world.  It sounds a little silly, but there are some amazing stories regarding this communication between the parents and the unborn child.

Visualizing this, or being reminded to work with your baby can be really helpful in labor.  Some women find it distracting, however.  As with nearly all techniques, you'll never really know till you're actually in labor.  The trick is to be flexible!

terminology

The hypnobirthing classes I attended spent a good deal of time talking about the importance of the terms used throughout labor.  Our understanding of different words translates directly to our bodies; who doesn't get tense when they hear the word "contraction"?  So much of our language is communicated through our bodies.  Likewise, much of our language is absorbed through our bodies.  Here are a few different word choices you might chose (or at least think about) during labor:

• Contraction = Surge.  Some call it a wave.  It ebbs and flows, and if you can release and let your uterus do what it was designed to do instead of tensing up (as "contract" suggests) your birth will be much smoother.
• Birth Coach = Birth Companion.  Usually shouting sports-like encouragement is not very helpful, especially if it is coming from one who doesn't have much experience with it.  You should go through birth together, as companions; seperate individuals and a unified partnership.
• Delivered = Birthed.  No one is delivering you, or the baby.  You are giving birth to that child.  Your body is bringing that tiny human being into the world.
• Bear Down = Breathe Down.  In those final, emotional moments of labor, it is essential to be able to keep yourself open.  "Breathing" down down suggests a more relaxed approach, giving the baby more oxygen, keep the pelvic floor flexible, and giving the body time to adjust.  "Bearing" down brings to mind the capillary-bursting, oxygen-depriving method of holding your breath for ten straight seconds.
• Birth Plan = Birth Preferences.  No birth ever goes according to plan.  The more you can let go and let your body take its course, the more successful you will be.  That does not mean, however, that you should not do your own research and let the staff assisting you know what your ideal birth would look like. 

The fact is that some women do not have pain during birth.  Most of us do; we are conditioned to fear it, our bodies are generally weak, and we do not believe in our own abilities.  Whether we chose to remedy those stumbling blocks or use medication, think positively.  Keep a positive atmosphere in the room.  You and your baby are emotionally and chemically effected by your surroundings.

a comfort measure that works

I spent this past month observing a hypnobirthing class taught by Ellie Shea in Redondo Beach.  I was very impressed with the things I learned. 

The biggest problem to overcome with natural labors today is that woman are conditioned to fear them.  We are told birth is unbearably painful and extremely dangerous to both our infant and ourselves.  Most of us believe that we are biologically flawed and are about to malfunction at any moment.  Hypnobirthing attempts to help woman re-work that entire mind set.

Hypnobirthing is a technique that mothers are encouraged to practice daily throughout the month and up until the birth of their child.  They do not practice being hypnotized so much as they practice getting themselves into hypnosis.  It requires time and concentration, and professional direction from the instructor.  She leads them deeper and deeper into their subconscious; leading the way so they can learn how to get there themselves.

Hypnobirthing works off of several rules of the mind:

1. "The mind can hold only one thought at a time.  Opposing thoughts cannot be held simultaneously; therefore, affirming a positive thought creates a positive outcome.  The person thinking the thought must choose what the nature of that thought will be.  If the pregnant woman refuses to entertain anything but positie images of birthing, she creates a positive mindset.  It prepares her for a positive outcome.
2. Thought precedes reality.  Whatever one focuses upon, whether it be of an internal or external origin, becomes manifested.  Mental images become imprinted, and the subconscious acts out the plan.  By imprinting positive thoughts and birth plans, positive outcomes are realized.  Intention creates experience.
3. For every thought or emotion there is a connected physical response.  Thoughts that are imprinted into the subconscious actually create a biochemical response within the body. Therefore, over a period of time, stressful worrisome thoughts can create negative conditioned responses in our bodies.  This rule is particularly important to HypnoBirthing success.  When fear is present, the fight or flight response is triggered; blodd and oxygen are directed to those muscles of the body that are involved in carrying out fight or flight; oxygen is depleted in the uterus; muscle constriction and pain result.  Positive thoughts and emotions for an easy, comfortable birth produce positive biochemicals in the body.
4. Once a thought is acted upon, the behavior becomes easier with each subsequent similar thought.  Continued reinforcement of a thought or action tends to make the thought more readily accepted and it becomes easier for additional suggestions of the same nature to be accepted and acted upon.  Once an expectant mother accepts the premise that comfortable birthing is a possibility, she can more readily birth according to her own natural instincts."

Go to http://www.hypnobirthing.com/ for more information.

hypnobirthing

This month I have had to opportunity to observe a hypnobirthing class. I absolutely love it. I will post several things about this in the future, but here is a general video to give you an idea of what it is, and if it might be something you would like to look into.

Go to their website for more information: http://www.hypnobirthing.com/default.htm